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Category: <span>Relationships</span>

Category: Relationships

Friend or just friendly?

Speaking to a friend the other day they quoted something simple but profound:

“Poms are not friendly, but they are your friends. Aussies are friendly, but they are not your friends.” 

Having lived in both locations, I found the phrase is incredibly accurate. 

But disturbingly, I have witnessed this from Christians (and been guilty of it myself).

Are we quick to smile at people and have a nice chat, but walk away unconcerned with their salvation, growth or the valley they are going through, maybe to think bad or even to slander and avoid them latter? 

Or do we genuinely and intimately care for people, whether we like them, whether they are weird, whether they agree or have the same theology as us, whether they can return the favour or whether it will cost is?

Do we uplift them in prayer, encourage them, serve them, help them and stand up for them in any way we can? 

Or does it end the second they are not in front of us?

This is a challenging thought for myself. At times I don’t have the emotional, spiritual, mental or physical strength in myself for the day ahead, let alone for others! 

As a husband, anything I have more than enough goes to my wife first, then my children. I would love to have more for others, to be a good son, brother, nephew, uncle or friend – to input in the lives of others, but I regularly withdraw, acutely aware I have nothing left to give. That I need to ‘save’ what little I have for those God has commanded me to love, serve, lead and wash. 

Priorities matter. 

But it doesn’t give me (or any of us) a free pass. Our Lord & Master has given us parables and commands to love, genuinely love, everyone, including the unlovable. 

We need to put the love He has shown us (the least deserving) into action for our neighbours (who is more deserving than us). And maybe, just maybe, we can (and should) do that as part of our marriage and family life. 

Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.
James 2:8-9 (NLT) 

Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
James 2:15-16 (NLT)

Lord, give us the strength we need to make it through today. Keep us close, draw us closer to yourself so we can draw what we need from You. Use us for those close to us and for those we would naturally avoid. Have Your way in us and through us. 

quote Culture | Relationships  

Demanding or Dumb? One dumb husbands revelation about his demanding wife…

Tonight I was reminded how dumb I am as a male at times…   Let me set the stage: I have been married to the same amazing woman for more than 20 years(!). We have lived together (in *hard* conditions at times), worked together, ran a business together, raised 6 children together, built a house and property together: been in each other’s spaces *constantly*.   She has continually told me what she needs *so* many times it’s absurd.   Even so, tonight, I come in to the bedroom and kneel down next to the bed. (No I’m not so holy …

Marriage / Sig Other | Relationships  

Budget for your marriage NOT your wedding!

Look what I found today! It is the actual budget tally for our wedding 20 years ago… We had 200-300 at the ceremony and around 150 at the reception. We cut corners everywhere we could:  Catering was a voucher and friends / family chipping in. For cars, we found an old Holden lover. For table decorations we did ourselves – bowls with pebbles and fish.Sharmini’s dress? Borrowed. The rings – secondhand.  The total including catering, hair, cars and photography? All in $3,070!!!  At that time, that was a *huge* amount of money for us, I clearly remember the $300 to rent chair …

Marriage / Sig Other | Personal   |

When they don’t want you in church…Fathers Day 2023

It was 23 years ago today I discovered I had a Father. A real, tangible Father that had never left me, always protected me and gently guided me, despite my determined rebellion. It made an instant, lasting difference. – My biological father left before I was born – leaving me insecure and chasing identity. I met him when I was in my 20s for the first time. After seeing him a few times I asked if he would want to come to my wedding. His reply is the last thing I heard him say:  “Adam I never wanted children and …

for thought | Parenting   |

Connect, Share, Love

Today, being the anniversary of my mother in laws death, we spent some time reflecting on her life.  This photo is one of my favourites of her. Battling cancer, walking in uneven sand up from the old caravans were were living in. She had spent the time to come and visit and on the trek back to the car she didn’t miss a trick connecting with one of my younger sons.  It is such a reminder that life is ‘just’ a collection of moments where we can spend time and actually connect with others. The clothes, the money, the house, …

Ministry / TPM | Parenting | Personal   | |

Mothers Day 2023 – do what you can

I see a lot of the incredible work that goes on behind the scenes of Christian homeschool motherhood due to my wife…and I am amazed. At times, it is tiring, stressful. chaotic and even seems futile. But be encouraged, God uses *every* single action, every word and  sacrifice!  Your prayers early in the morning and late at night. Your honesty and humility with personal faults Your example in going to God and dealing with said faults. Your modelling of commitment to and respect of your husband. Your sacrifice giving up your desires, friends, activities to lead your children to Him. Your understanding of your …

Homeschool | Parenting   |

Mothers Day 2023

Watching our children this week I was reflecting on the way that you have prayed, inputted in to them, trained them, taught them and schooled them. It really is amazing – they are so blessed and their characters all reflect how God has used you in their lives.  I am deeply grateful for all that you have done and do:Your continual sacrifice, putting God and His ways first, has led to our 6 children having amazing spiritual privilege. So many times you forgo what would feel nice, what you would like, what is relaxing, what is easy…and instead do what …

Parenting | Personal  

Anzac Day 2023

Over the last few months, we have been learning about different periods of history, specifically about war between different nations.  One of the things that has been amazing to me, is just how many wars there have been throughout history. So many, that times without war really stand out – periods of peace are actually *very* rare.  So much death, so much horror it just beggars belief.  But here, in the West, living in this time, it is easy to naively start to take our freedoms for granted. I know I did… As a raging alcoholic all I cared about was …

for thought | Jesus Time | Parenting  

The most valuable disciples in the world…

Since Christmas, we have set up and rammed a new front fence: it’s not finished, but feels great to have *finally* made some progress on it! I have to say, that despite the pain and severe physical limitation, I *love* working with this amazing family.  We had some friends come to help – and watching our kids continually take the time to stop, include and teach others is so rewarding. To me, it is part of what discipleship looks like, a command from our Master, so desperately needed and severely lacking.  It is one of the aspects of my Christian …

for thought | Marriage / Sig Other | Parenting   |

Baptism notes Miss S 2022

Baptism is often seen as strange, mystical or religious, yet there is so much more to it. 
Jesus commanded the Church Baptise people. 
The Holy Spirit commands individuals to be Baptism, but as always, humans turn it into a religious stance and use it for division! Differing traditions exist: From a baby being sprinkled somehow being safe from everything for eternity, to someone having to have to be baptised 3 times, say specific prayers, not bath for a week afterwards! BOTH positions miss the point. The Bible makes it clear: there is no Free Pass due to a sprinkling, and …

Faith | Relationships   | |

Homeschool Play: His story

Yesterday I watched an incredibly powerful play put on by a group of homeschoolers. It traced just a few events in history that had a dramatic effect on the world I grew up in and still live in today.  They are events that still clearly reveal that our current world would be in a *much* worse place if our current cultural attitudes were allowed to flourish.  It showed how certain practises (like torture killing of criminals, forced sale of young girls for sex), perceived as fine by the culture, were ended due to the influence on One person. The ramifications …

Culture | for thought | Homeschool   | |

19 Years…and counting

The last 19 years has brought a huge range of highs and some incredibly difficult lows. Looking back, it’s hard to pick a favourite…  Was it seeing you in all your preened beauty walking down the aisle? Or watching you climb the gate with a big smile as we were about to leave for church, after having a cold bucket shower due to water issues? Seeing you race our kids in wellies filled with water? Seeing you passionately share your testimony with people who need Jesus? Hearing you and the kids laughing as you tried to do roll backs in …

Relationships   |

Be encouraged fellow pilgrim

Be encouraged fellow pilgrims…  Many of you know that for over a year I have been telling my children that they need to be sure about where God wants them as our culture is doomed. In fact, according to history, our cultures demise is sure in our life time let alone theirs.  But that said, I am not worried or discouraged – Jesus the King is on the throne, God’s will is being fulfilled and can not be thwarted. While our culture may be nearing the end of its road, this is not a new phenomenon.  The vast Herodian empire, …

Culture | Parenting | Preaching   | |

If you have never known your dad…

If, for whatever reason, you don’t have a good relationship with your dad, I understand.  Not in a cliche, pseudo-psychological way, but in a real, understanding and experiential way.  I know how much of the below is totally hidden, almost all of the time; but inwardly these thoughts lurk and at times, they rear their head. Through even the most epic lifestyle, most hardcore addiction or best suppression techniques some of these things break into our reality. Sometimes repeatedly.   I know how you: – tell yourself it doesn’t matter, – yearn for it to not be your fault,  – put your …

for thought | Ministry / TPM | Parenting | Relationships   |

Happy Mothers Day 2022

The outlook was bleak and there were many risks.  This was the worst time to fall pregnant – no income, already two children to care for and the bills were mounting.  It was clear that the father was bad news – sure enough he left as soon as he heard the news. No support, no income, no house, no financial security, no child support.  The choice for many reading this would be simple: have it killed.  Thankfully, my mother had come to believe that life was precious and sacred, even before birth. This is what she had read in the …

Culture | for thought | Parenting   |

7 Traits of successful children…according to the Bible PART 1

[This is Party one of a 7 Part Series] I recently read an article that stated the ‘7 traits of successful children’ written by a psychologist. Of course I wanted to see what was classified as ‘successful’ and whether I was doing a good job or not.  Of course, I logically know that most psychologists operate from a secular world-view, but I clicked anyway…  The first point confirmed my suspicion: Self Confidence!p This is what most of the world chases and what is associated with ‘successful’ people. From a Biblical point of view though, Self Esteem is just selective pride. …

for thought | Parenting   |

UN Homeschool pressure: Be Encouraged Christian Parent

Hello precious people!  After reading about the UN’s push for Western governments to clamp down on homeschooling i felt to write the below.  With our election just around the corner, with more parties signing on to the progressive agenda, things might seem futile. But don’t give up! While things may get more difficult God is in control – Jesus sits in the place of victory – He is King!  Your actions & work inputting His Truth into your precious ones will not be useless – His word never returns void. The foundation you give your children can hold them in …

Parenting   |

Does Smacking a child lead to rebellion / addiction?

I wrote the below in response to an article that argued: Smacking children causes drug addiction Smacking never works Smacking can never be done healthily…. First off, if we base our parenting on research, we will likely never hit the mark – and it will continually change. The research (despite the authors insistence) can never give a total nor completely clear picture of all the variables, outcomes and personality types. The data is interpreted by people through their worldview (most ‘psychology’ research is based in secular humanism). This week playgrounds need to be safer – next week we’re told that …

Parenting   | |

How Discipline Proves Love

I recently wrote an article looking at the ‘Death of the West’: how history reveals that we can not survive the next 40 years. (Article is Here)   All through history, powerful, educated, military nations that should rule the world have ceased to exist. However, it is small, insignificant, uneducated nations like the Jews, have survived through the ages (despite concerted efforts to the contrary!) . It just does not make sense… Unless of course there is some supernatural power at play. Interestingly, the Bible describes this very scenario: a God who punishes nations who violate His law. According to this incredible book, the …

Culture | for thought | Parenting   | | | |

Six Lessons from Six years since my brother passed away.

Six years ago today, my brother in law passed away after complications from a bee sting. Looking back, I can clearly remember getting the phone call that he had been rushed to hospital…  When this phone call came through, I instantly knew that it was a dire situation even though the doctors were very optimistic, saying there was at least 70% chance he would be ok.  God had prepared us for two weeks before that something big was coming. He also told us specific things about Naveen, so we we did reach out. I didn’t fully believe it was God, …

Parenting | Personal | Relationships   |

How to please ‘God’ in two easy steps…

Nearly everyone who accepts there is a ‘god’ wonders how to please it / him / her / them…and normally tries to.     It makes sense that any wise human who understands a more powerful deity exists, would try to please / appease the Being that made them.    We see the same trait in animals – horses with their owners, dogs with their masters, dolphins with their trainers: the animal does what it has learned, i.e. what the the human wants (or rewards).    Even in these limited examples, we can see a large variety of different types …

for thought | Parenting   |

Find me Dad! How hide & seek finds us all…

Have you ever wondered why children want us to find them? It’s reveals something quite profound and it points to something that is universal to us all… It is immensely powerful even though most aren’t aware of it’s reality – though you likely have experienced some of it’s consequences….

Parenting | Relationships   | |

Do you love mercy – or just do it?

Forgiveness is an incredibly important part of the human experience. It is important for a persons mental health, emotional well being and spiritual experience.  Many Christians take serious their Masters’ command to forgive others  and think they have done a great job. Some even have – maybe even following some of this advice!  But even then – do they, do you, do WE, LOVE forgiving people or is it just something we try to do?!  That sounds absurd – what an incredibly high – unreachable – standard!  But that is the heart of our God. He doesn’t forgive under coercion, …

for thought | Relationships

How to fully forgive the UNFORGIVABLE!

Many religious people (and those with a more advanced knowledge of psychology), know the importance of forgiveness. Many know that harbouring unforgiveness is very damaging mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  For this reason, a lot of people try to forgive – they really do try – and many would say they have succeeded in ‘letting this person go’, ‘moving on’ or ‘put that behind them’.  While the intent may be good (or even great!), it normally does not even start to address the real depth of forgiveness that is needed. And even if it does, it is virtually always missing a …

for thought | Relationships  

My Wife – Commitment to God & Others

The last few days I have had some amazing conversations at the gate. (I just posted a couple on our blog for those interested or who have the desire to pray).  But one thing I am often amazed at is how people are used to their creature comforts… And if something goes wrong that threatens or takes away said comfort? The reaction is, well, eye opening! As humans, we get used to things that were once a special treat, then we come to expect them and are discontent if we don’t have them… it’s crazy, but unfortunately it happens quickly …

Personal | Relationships

What you focus on today will affect all your tomorrows

It is amazing how easy it is to put things off: until tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…  Whether it is eating healthier, exercising (more), education, time with God, spouse, children, parents etc, there is only one time to start: NOW!  Let’s be clear: what you put your time and effort into today, will be reflected in all your tomorrows.  If your time and focus is on your friends, your friendships will grow, maybe at the detriment of your career.  If you spend more time with this person or that than your spouse, your marriage will be at risk.  If …

Finances | for thought | Relationships   |

lies, Lies, LIES! … and how they affect us.

Recently, we had a situation with our children that escalated to a point of tears that is quite rare. After working through the complexity of the situation, it became clear that the cause of it ALL for everyone involved, was LIES… I have to say up front: “I HATE LIES!”  Seriously, at so many levels, lies have affected my life: Believing I was unlovable led me in to (and out of) many unneeded relationships. LIE! Believing I needed to earn people’s approval led me to becoming a workaholic. LIE! Believing there was no God led me to having no respect for people …

for thought | Ministry / TPM | Relationships   | |

18th Wedding Anniversary – it’s all God

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 This verse is so true, but ‘treasure’ makes it sound like I was looking. Nope, not even close – in fact my first ever words to her? “I’m not looking for a relationship” And her response: Are you really so full of yourself?! Who would have thought it was the start of a 18 years (and counting) journey including 6 children, 3 dogs, 7 moves and and unknown number of adventures. I certainly didn’t! In fact, as someone who had always been …

Marriage / Sig Other | Personal  

Conflict in Marriage: A Different Take

Have you ever attacked your wife or partner? Yelled, screamed, used those angry eyes, given silent treatment or just left (emotionally or physically)? Has it ever been because of something that has happened with or to your child? A parenting issue? A dis-agreeance on what has or should happen? Me too. It is a common source of conflict in a marriage. Today I feel God wants me to share a different take on these times. Maybe when you reacted, you just experienced part of God’s heart? What? Maybe – let me explain: As I look back at my childhood, I …

for thought | Marriage / Sig Other | Parenting

John, Angie & Jesus

Recently, someone we met at church years ago, passed away. She was an incredible lady, happy, loving and full of beans. Although very slight in build, she came across as very strong and was certainly brave. She would talk to anybody about Jesus and often handed out Gospel tracts. We had only run into her once since Her husband, John, passed away – she was still full of love for her Saviour. As my parents had attended her funeral, they bought us a booklet printed by the family, chronicling parts of her life. Two parts had me riveted: 1) Angie’s …

for thought | Marriage / Sig Other   |

In 2021, Think about Number ONE!

What a crazy year! No one would have believed that in Western countries, the police would be forcing people in and out of lockdowns. That the government would be issuing rules to ban families to see each other. That a sickness would spread through the world, reportedly causing millions to die, yet the symptoms of which often need a government purchased test from the country of origin of that said disease to be detected. The list of worldwide events this year that are incredibly significant and impact is nearly endless. But I am guessing that for many reading this, there …

for thought | Relationships  

Love-Without it we are nothing.

Love: Without it we are nothing. If I asked “what is love?” what comes to mind? Liking something – a thing or activity? Feeling attracted to a particular person? Wanting to be near someone? Being happy around them? Experiencing comfort while with them? Engaging in good conversation with them? Enjoying the same activities? Avoiding conflict / keeping the peace with someone? Is love something we can touch or taste or feel? Is it summed up by a phrase that is used sometimes: ‘that person completes me’? There are many things that are common answers as to what love is, but …

Faith | Preaching | Relationships  

My Reality this Mothers Day

Today, as I reflect on Mothers Day it brings many mixed emotions and great memories. Lots of joy, happiness, surprises, but also disappointment, sadness and grief. I look back into my childhood and all I wanted was love and attention. I remember giving my gifts to my mum that I made at school…always wondering how would they be received? Would they be good enough? As the years went on, as a teenager who now “knew everything” and was earning money, I would look for something that was expensive enough to show her love the only way I knew how.  I …

Parenting | Soul Food   |

Last Minute Mothers Day Ideas for your wife…mostly FREE!

As a dad with 6 children, a big part of being a good husband and father is to model how to show love and help the children to love and honour people – especially their mother. This is an area where I have failed heaps, but over the years there has been a few ways that have stood out that have ‘worked’ in this regard for me. The first is receiving love from God. Don’t switch off – seriously – we have often received either only a little love while growing up or a tainted version of love. This leaves …

Marriage / Sig Other | Parenting   | |

Dont contact me again son

‘Dad I’m getting married – do you want to come?’ “Adam I never wanted children – I still don’t – please don’t contact me again” The above was a real conversation I had with my dad over the phone a week or so before I was married in 2003. It is the last time I have spoken to him – I don’t know if he is still alive, in jail or whatever. I have respected his wish and, unfortunately, I understand his desire…

for thought | Parenting | Relationships

One of the saddest photos in the world?

This photo does two things to my heart… It is a photo taken just after my 9yo son & I left emergency after a very difficult night. He had suffered a serious concussion and had amnesia and a possible brain bleed. I was sick, over tired and very sore but somehow – miraculously – we had just been released. All seemed to be going well…

Ministry / TPM | Parenting | Relationships   |

Have we already been to bed dad?

“Have we already been to bed dad?” This sentence was the first sign that something was wrong – very wrong. At first, I thought this child was joking, despite him knowing that health / injury is nothing to ever be joked about in this family… As I questioned him, it still seemed just like he was joking, until, after about 3 minutes he ‘jerked’ a little and his eyes went funny and the same sequence of questions came out. No one could act this… I called the two children who were near him when he came off his bike. I …

Parenting   |

Science Experiment Homeschool Template / Example

Just in case it is helpful to anyone here I thought I would put a sample of an experiment template that can be used. This combines elements of a younger students science experiment with those of a research paper to introduce higher aspects to those ready. We don’t use all of the headings for all ages of children but the experiments are normally pretty good. Yesterday we trialled 3 different woks (Commercial Induction, Breville Electric and Gas) to see which was the most cost effective. Very interesting (and some would say fun)! If anyone wants one in Pages / Word …

Homeschool  

I can only Imagine

The effect of Mercy on Me Tonight, as part of her Mothers Day celebration, Sharmini had wanted to watch the movie “I can only Imagine” – the story behind the #1 all time best selling Christian single.  The writer of the song (Bart Millard) had an abusive father and very difficult life that continued into early adulthood. Later, Bart saw Jesus transform his father from a ‘monster he hated into the man that he wanted to become’ (his words).  The song talks about what it will be like in Heaven – far from the cliche great food and good times …

Marriage / Sig Other | Soul Food   | |

Indian date night with a difference.

A brief look into our crazy world…Tonight it was date night so I was cooking a special meal for myself and Sharmini that she has arranged. The children are looking after the babies and buying / selling goods as part of their new business venture. We are running late, and the phone rings with “No Caller ID”. It can only mean one thing: telemarketers. I normally answer and tell them about Jesus, but today I was going to ignore due to time restraints. But Sharmini decided she would answer this time… “Hello” “Hello sir, Do you know that your business can not …

Fishing | for thought | Marriage / Sig Other   |

Happy 15th Anniversary

Today it’s our FIFTEENTH Wedding Anniversary!  To say it has been a FULL ON 15 years with many highs and lows is an understatement! Many, many failures & mistakes but always matched and overcome by God’s love and grace. We are very thankful to Jesus who brought us together and really is the reason we are still together. We had decided that we weren’t going to go anywhere or do anything special, but would tidy up the property and possibly try to sort either some bedroom furniture or bed sheets for our room. After doing some normal morning duties, we were told …

Marriage / Sig Other | Personal  

Bethesda Palliative Care

It’s just over two weeks since my mother in law passed away. After a 6 year battle with cancer, the intensity and the difficulty mounted.  In the last two weeks she was admitted into Bethesda hospital / palliative care as the cancer overtook her body.  Although this was a gruesome reality and very very difficult time, it was made much more bearable by the care she received at Bethesda.  It wasn’t just the sense of peace in the place or the amazing views either… Every one of the staff showed genuine care and compassion both towards my mother in law …

for thought | Relationships

How to get in your wife’s good books (I hope)!

It was coming up to Sharmini’s 16th Christian Birthday, the floors should be finished, could we manage to surprise her?  For those who know Sharmini, you know that she is an incredibly kind, loving and generous person. She is always looking for ways to bless others and one way that she has planned to do that once the house is finished is by doing High Teas for ladies. She has often purchased tea sets or saucers at garage sales and started storing them in the shed. I knew once we had done the first one, the excitement of it would be …

Composting Toilets / Grey Water | Marriage / Sig Other   |

You Stink – I have much to be ashamed of in my life…

Recently I read a little about a case in America where 13 children were supposedly abused and kept locked up in a suburban house. The story, as portrayed, was horrific and hard to read, let alone imagine through one of the children’s eyes… I think there is much more to the story than has been reported – and the presented story has quite obvious flaw and inconsistencies*… (possibly to champion the public call for a ban on homeschooling or further deride Christianity). However, this is not the focus or object of this article. I do have to say first though, …

Jesus Time | Parenting