As a dad with 6 children, a big part of being a good husband and father is to model how to show love and help the children to love and honour people – especially their mother.
This is an area where I have failed heaps, but over the years there has been a few ways that have stood out that have ‘worked’ in this regard for me.
The first is receiving love from God. Don’t switch off – seriously – we have often received either only a little love while growing up or a tainted version of love. This leaves us naturally only showing love in a way our partners and children often don’t receive or understand. But we can do *much* better…
That leads to the second point: How we actually show any love we have for our wives / children.
Obviously, each woman (mother) is different so I encourage you to look at what you know about your wife (and mother!) and look at her ‘love language’(s). If you don’t know the love languages – I encourage you to look into it, but for now a basic explanation:
Love Languages
There are five main love languages often cited as being:
Gift Giving (presents, flowers, cards) GG
Physical Touch (hugs, holding hands, kisses) PT
Acts of Service (chores, making dinner, doing dishes etc) AS
Words of Affirmation (cards, texts, positive speech) WA
Quality Time (talking, uninterrupted time, sitting, games, jigsaws) QT
We, our children and our wives may all have different main love languages we speak and receive. Don’t know your wife’s? Just look at how she shows love to people…
Does she hug you all the time and want to be touched & hugged?
Does she want to be alone with you or the children?
Is she always buying presents even when it is not someones birthday?
Does she look disappointed when you take the meal she prepared for you for granted?(!).
There is so much to learn about this area, and I encourage you to pursue it – showing love in the correct way is vital and can revolutionise your marriage.
As the Bible states there is no higher power or goal than love. In fact, God Himself is described as being love itself! Amazingly, He speaks love in our language too…and receiving that love can transform our lives – continually!
We need to make sure our children are speaking the right language (and us of course!) so their mothers will receive it.
With that in mind, here are some things that have stood out that seem appropriate for Mothers Day…
(in brackets are the love language that they predominantly communicate)
- Hand made cards with heart felt words from the child (WA/GG)
- Poems / Songs (songs might be a bit hard if last minute if you’re as unmusical as me 😂) (WA)
- Hand picked flowers – even natives – it is the thought and effort that counts (GG)
- Tidying up the house, garden or (in our case property & worksite!) (AS)
- Videos of the children saying nice things or what they appreciate about their mother (WA)
- Breakfast in Bed (AS) (If you thought about what she likes & bought special food GG)
- As above but spend time talking to her & asking her questions! (QT)
- Personalise something – a candle, a photo frame, a t-shirt, a mug (GG, WA)
- Put photos in a frame or design up a photo card to email her (GG, WA)
- Arrange an activity for her and the kids, walk, picnic, colouring in, art etc (QT)
- Grazing platter – lots of different foods in a nice arrangement (AS, GG)
- VOUCHERS!
Vouchers needs it’s own whole list. These are FANTASTIC on so many levels:
They are immediate
- If not liked, nothing is wasted
- They can express all the love languages
- In fact they can be for anything
We use these SO MUCH on the bottom of Birthday Cards, Special events etc like this:
Voucher Examples:
- Massage Voucher (from you, the kids (!) or others!
- Do the washing, dishes, or other chore for her x (how many)?
- Date Night (with you or the kids)
- Fruit & Nuts or chocolates
- Tidy up voucher
- Get out of work free!
- Devotional, Book, CD or DVD
- Clothing that she can pick herself
- Something you know she wants
No matter what love language your wife, children or you yourself has, these things, if done with sincerity, can communicate much love and reach your wife, the mother of your children.
You still have time – go for it!