Look what I found today! It is the actual budget tally for our wedding 20 years ago…
We had 200-300 at the ceremony and around 150 at the reception. We cut corners everywhere we could:
Catering was a voucher and friends / family chipping in.
For cars, we found an old Holden lover.
For table decorations we did ourselves – bowls with pebbles and fish.
Sharmini’s dress? Borrowed. The rings – secondhand.
The total including catering, hair, cars and photography? All in $3,070!!!
At that time, that was a *huge* amount of money for us, I clearly remember the $300 to rent chair covers. I could not understand paying to rent something purely for looks. But for Sharmini, she really wanted the place to look elegant, so we went with them. That sounds so simple, I hope we didn’t argue…but we may have 🙁
While the total cost was relatively low, the actual event was amazing. The church looked incredible, and so did Sharmini (obviously!). It was a real celebration of how God had saved us, changed us and brought us together.
The start of of our married life was already travelling in the direction it would for many to come: trying to respond to our new reality in Jesus. Trying to put Him first, allowing Him to change us into His image, trying to show each other grace and share Him with anyone who would listen.
Sacrifice, serving and giving were the underlying attitudes and now, looking back I am *so* thankful!
While that may sound so nice and ‘Christian’, it was an incredibly intense and painful reality to walk.
Putting Him first required a lot of sacrifice: in our marriage, with our families, friends, living conditions and more. Many ‘normal’ activities took a back seat which, to many, seemed foolish and extreme.
While others spent money going out & having fun, we sought counsel and help and ministry for the things that kept causing issues between us. I am thankful that Sharmini was so adamant that we needed to address things properly – I was always one to run or hide from confrontation. Sweeping things under the carpet and ignoring them was never going to work.
If you are embarking on a relationship (or trying to make one work), may we offer these words of wisdom: Marriage is *hard* work. At times it feels like death, sometimes you want death and at others you want death for the other.
It will take a huge amount of effort and commitment – our advice – if you aren’t willing to cling on to Jesus like you would a cliff ledge, don’t even start out on the ‘ride’!
But if you’re willing, He can bring you through and he will achieve His purpose in you both. He wants refinement, growth, transformation and the way He accomplishes this is through your partner…disagreeing with you, criticising you, offending you – even wronging you! Wait WHAT!?
Sorry, wake up call – every human on the planet is going to let you down. Even your spouse, maybe especially them! Everyone except Jesus.
There’s lots we want to share, but for now we will leave you with this:
Follow Jesus, not money. For you, your marriage and your family.
Follow Jesus – He *really* does provide!
#thankYouJesus
As a wedding photographer, I saw so many marriages start out in beauty, extravagance and at times excess and debt.
But a sad reality:
Some of the most expensive weddings were the shortest lived – so sad.
More money spent on the wedding did not make the marriage any better.
1570 Spit Roast = 1,570
370 Cjari Hire = 370
130 Table Hire = 130
200 Holden cars = 200
300 Chair Covers = 300
250 DJ = 250
200 SK = 200
50 Dress dry cleaning = 50
Total = 3,070