Recently, we had a situation with our children that escalated to a point of tears that is quite rare. After working through the complexity of the situation, it became clear that the cause of it ALL for everyone involved, was LIES…
I have to say up front: “I HATE LIES!”
Seriously, at so many levels, lies have affected my life:
- Believing I was unlovable led me in to (and out of) many unneeded relationships. LIE!
- Believing I needed to earn people’s approval led me to becoming a workaholic. LIE!
- Believing there was no God led me to having no respect for people or the law. LIE!
- Believing I had no value led me to using many substances and doing all kinds of crazy activities. LIE!
- Believing I was invincible led me to doing crazy, stupid things that wrecked my body. LIE!
- Believing I was nothing led me to withdraw emotionally, leaving me totally unable to connect. LIE!
- Believing other people had no value led me to abusing many in a variety of ways. LIE!
There are many more – but you get the idea!
These and combinations of these underlying lies, completely dominated my life, directing it towards what would have been a short and ugly end.
Looking back, I am shocked at just how different my life could have turned out, if I had Truth instead of lies. Thousands of interactions, all of which could have turned out so different, with what seems simple: a truthful perspective. Knowing what people actually thought instead of making up stuff, being paranoid.
I am so thankful that I was alerted to these lies, but at first I had no idea that they were there at all. In fact I would have argued with you: insistent I didn’t believe these things. I simply thought all my relationship issues were other people’s faults.
“I had a right to be angry if someone does x, y or z”
“It is their fault: they are this trait, that trait, you know: narcissistic”
“I will be happy if I get a different partner, a new, better one”
These lies don’t ‘just’ affect relationships though: We see the results regularly. Whether a volunteer or a professional, these lies can have dramatic affects. Looking objectively, it is so obvious what the problem is, though the person that is ‘triggered’, has no idea. They often get emotional, react, attack and/or leave. The process repeats itself no matter where the person goes.
“But it’s the other person’s fault!”
Of course the person doesn’t like the pain or result of the process, so they start to unconsciously making decisions to avoid the conflict, people or place(s) that where these interactions occur. Lives are altered, people are hurt, relationships are damaged, lives are destroyed.
But it doesn’t have to be that way!
If you want to deal with lies properly, the only antidote is Truth.
You can try to ignore the consequences, you can medicate yourself with substances or actives – but ultimately, unless you address the issue, the core issue (and mounting consequences) will remain.
Some will suggest Cognitive Therapy or Counselling (both can be of some benefit), while the biggest changes I have seen have come from Transformational Prayer Ministry In short, the reason that this is so effective is that Jesus Himself deals with the lies.
Yes, you heard that right – Jesus – the One who called Himself ‘the Truth’, brings truth to the very area needed.
The changes are dramatic:
I can honestly say that some of the lies I listed above, that were once deeply ingrained in me, are now mostly a memory. I am not trying to say I am perfect, far from it, but for the lies that have been changed, I am completely free and don’t have to ‘manage’ them. And if they come up, I have a clear way to deal with them for good and it doesn’t require ongoing effort or management in the moment.
Whether it be from recent grief – filled events, or from events when a baby, the lie taken on in that time can be powerful. But the change that comes from Truth is amazing.
“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32 (NLT)
Unfortunately, I have seen so many people run from what could be an amazing (insert what you like here: job, family, church, relationship, opportunity etc). We have been unfriended by some and personally attacked by others, but in each and every case, we can see that these hidden lies are influencing these precious people. They are often not aware of these lies, though have likely been repeatedly (or constantly) affected by them.
The Truth would have changed everything…and it can for you too!
Conclusion: We need the Truth, which will set us free
Lord, please bring us into Your Truth – the Truth that you sent to earth – Your Son – Jesus. May every person reading this have an encounter with the only One who is Truth.