I recently read a post that talked about the hyperbole (and at times hypocrisy) of modern church ‘worship’. Essentially, songs that sing about us instead of Jesus, making empty promises and not following through.
We’ve been visiting a wide range of churches and it’s a pet hate of mine, singing about me in any shape or form: it only highlights how ridiculous I am, compared to the Great I AM.
Today, a song came on that was going around when I was first saved. In my excitement and zeal I *loved* this song. I sung it with gusto:
🎶 “EVERYDAY IT’S YOU I LIVE FOR,
EVERYDAY I’LL FOLLOW AFTER YOU,
EVERYDAY I’LL WALK WITH YOU MY LORD…🎶 ”
(Hillsong?)
If, however, I only did the easy thing of judging & dismissing this song, I would be missing something very, very key:
I actually meant what I sung.
In tears of joy and excitement I was declaring my response to His great love. The One that loved me despite all I had done. The One that opened my eyes on the cliff of despair. The One that forgave me and now was willing to walk with me, inside me – how could I *not* live for Him??
It was an incredible time: I could not go anywhere without seeing His power or love at work. I regularly and routinely introduced people into this powerful new position. Hours in prayer, continual worship, one church service after another, new convert after new convert. Every day I was actually following after Him. Sure, still tainted, continual failures and likely never 100%, but with everything I was able to.
But 22 Years later, I hear the words of that same song. I can no longer declare them boldly, I can’t in good conscience even let some of them leave my lips. But boy, they convict me ever so deeply…
I desperately long to be back in that place of ‘first love’, (reckless abandon or not) whatever that means or looks like in this season of my life.
Sure I could be bitter at the song or the people who sing it. In that same season I was surrounded by people who sung it just as loudly, yet they would never come to the prison, the rehab, the outreach, the whatever. I could not get my head around it at the time: they have the message of Eternal Hope, the Answer to a life of crime, addiction, depression – yet, despite my desperate pleas, remained firmly planted in their chairs.
Their neighbours didn’t know even they were Christian, let alone experience the love or Truth of this Saviour they were declaring they would follow daily. I even saw people who had danced to this song at a conference, minutes later move away from homeless people in the park who clearly needed His love. What, because lunch was more important – or was it being on time back to conference of inspirational hyperbole? Disgusting.
At least the same can’t be said of me hey?!
But I wonder, how I would respond to that ‘naive’ version of me now? One thing I hope I would not do: criticise, judge or dismiss the song (or person) or their sincere response to the One I (still) owe everything to. I hope I would be inspired, encouraged or challenged, maybe it would help me in my current state – to break free and follow?
If only it was that easy – find a church where people are passionate about Jesus & following Him. (Because they are everywhere right?!)… The truth is far harder to swallow:
I have allowed the concerns of this world to strangle the life out of me. The desire to provide for my family and ‘succeed’ has had a dramatic effect on my body that now dominates.
Every day a battle, what does it look like to ‘follow after You everyday’ Lord? I long to be of service to You. I long to commune with You in that deep and intimate way. Yet all I seem to do is avoid you and choose activities that distract from the pain. Help me, lead me, guide me. I really do *want* to follow after You, but am unable without Your help.
“Everyday I [want to] give all that I am to you…”
“That I would learn to stand upon Your Word…”
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
James 1:5-8 (NLT) [Emphasis Added]
EveryDay:
What to say, Lord? It’s
You who gave me life and I
Can’t explain just how
Much You mean to me now
That You have saved me, Lord
I give all that I am to You
That everyday I could
Be a light that shines Your name
Everyday, Lord, I’ll
Learn to stand upon Your word
And I pray that I
I might come to know You more
That You would guide me in every single step I take, that
Everyday I can
Be Your light unto the world
Everyday, it’s You I live for
Everyday, I’ll follow after You
Everyday, I’ll walk with You, my Lord
Everyday, Lord, I’ll
Learn to stand upon Your word
And I pray that I
I might come to know You more
That You would guide me in every single step I take, that
Everyday I can
Be Your light unto the world
Everyday, it’s You I live for
Everyday, I’ll follow after You
Everyday, I’ll walk with You, my Lord
It’s You I live for, everyday
It’s You I live for, everyday
It’s You I live for, everyday
It’s You I live for, everyday
Everyday, it’s You I live for
Everyday, I’ll follow after You
Everyday, I’ll walk with You, my Lord
Everyday, it’s You I live for
Everyday, I’ll follow after You
Everyday, I’ll walk with You, my Lord