Recently. I watched a documentary about ‘encounters with evil’. Police investigative and psychological interviews (+ descriptions) of people who they considered evil.
Some of the acts were gruesome, the detective work to find and convict them riveting. But one particular phrase really grabbed me:
What is it like to come face to face with evil?
While these heinous crimes were disgusting, there is a difference between those who do evil things and evil itself…
I remember clearly the day I came face to face with actual evil. A spiritual entity that had so much power it captivated me. A master manipulator, this ‘being’ was very personal…
It came directly to me, and tempted me to say ‘yes’ in the most devious manner. As a drug addict, regular binge drinker, wheeler and dealer – nothing really surprised or phased me. But this event changed the playing field.
I was talking with a friend about how I was starting to have negative experiences while using drugs. Something where quite strange and he asked me:
‘do you think that was a demon’?
As the word demon was mentioned, the death metal tape that was playing chewed up and stopped.
This was a quality deck and good tape – and had *never* happened before. I put a different tape in the other side of the player and hit play. As we talked the word ‘demon’ came up again and the second taped chewed as well.
My friend started screaming and ran out saying ‘my brother worships the devil & is going to kill himself’. (This sadly came true a little while later). I lay down bewildered by these events, and was confronted with this evil ‘being’ immediately.
It was as real and powerful as a confrontation with the police or aggressive drunk.
A large eye, (presumably attached to a being), started to close in on me from beyond the ceiling. I wasn’t aware of the rest of the being, the eye was so powerful, so captivating it was all I could engage with. As it got closer, at the exact place where it was as close and big as it could be before I was scared, it issued a challenge:
“Can you handle the rush of letting me in?”
It was the most tempting event of my life, even though I somehow knew that if I ‘let it in’ I would no longer be in control…
I was a control freak – I *had* to be in control to protect myself. But even then, this was *incredibly* hard to say no.
This was true evil. It knew my weakness. It wanted my destruction. It played the *perfect* part to get me to willingly submit. Thankfully, other events in my life had laid a foundation so I knew that allowing entrance would be the end. Ironically, I *hated* the people and place that gave me the information that kept me safe – I saw them as evil!
Amazingly, I got up & went back out to the party, and this event was pushed out of my mind altogether until years later. I’d love to know if it were the same night I ended up in hospital after a high speed chase, but it’s too much of a blur to know.
Regardless, I think things would have been dramatically different if I had allowed this ‘being’ in.
How many of these types of things were ‘forgotten’? I really have no idea, but what I do know is, I was only fully aware of the reality of this evil and the influence it had on me when it actually left…
Years later, on a trip into the ‘bush’ to end my life, I started reading the Bible (which talked about demons quite a bit). It spoke things I had never imagined and had me riveted – I could not put it down!
At one point, I said sorry to God for my sin, (all the bad things I had done). Up until now I didn’t think they were bad, but as I went through the list, I suddenly wept & saw that these sins were against this God I didn’t believe existed.
He knew that I would sin, He knew that I would hurt people, He knew what a truly horrible person I would be, but He gave me life anyway. And more than that – He loved me anyway! And even more that – He sent Jesus, His only Son, to die in my place anyway?!
To cut a powerful and long experience very short, I wept for quite a while and when I stopped?
There was SILENCE. It was a compleet shock to me:
‘Why is it so quiet?’
Where are all those voices?
The voices had been incessant for years, but I wasn’t really aware of them. Not until right now when they stopped. NOW I could tell just how full on, how loud, how destructive they were. CRAZY!
Finally I understood the meaning of the word ‘peace’. I had clarity, freedom from addictions and a completely different nature right away. I *wanted* to do good and please God, a 180º turn about that continues to amaze me 20+ years later!
I understand how real, how powerful and how tempting an encounter with evil can be. If you have had them, I don’t think you are weird or mental. And I know the Answer to them…there is only One:
His name is Jesus, the Christ, the King – ruler of all, of whom the angels sing.
Born & lived sin free, nailed to a tree, becoming a curse for you and me.
Then He rose again, defeating death and the full evil breadth.
He doesn’t trick or deceive, force or threaten. But He does offer you a secure place in Heaven.
In His home, with God the Father, your place prepared, with Him forever shared.
Adopted as a son, forgiven from everything ever done, with God becoming one.
#thankYouJesus
If you need help or are suicidal, please talk to someone, call a hotline – a friend – anyone, right now. Death is final and you have more value than you know.
You are loved and special! Believe me – I know.
Lifeline: 131114 24 hours.
Lifelink: 08 9381 5555 / Free Country 1800 198 313 24 hours.
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/australia-suicide-hotlines.html