Warning: personal whinge follows (I wrote it more for myself but just in case other chronic pain sufferers find it helpful… )
It’s often surprising just how demoralising small things can be on the pain management / injury recovery journey. This last week or so, a mild flu has knocked me out.
Sure the list of jobs & missed activities with family is disappointing, but it’s the weeks long set back in pain & ‘fitness’ that really stings.
Trying to build up stamina, capability and lower the overall daily pain levels, others wouldn’t be aware of how hard or painful the small ‘exercises’ had been.
My body certainly doesn’t show any physical signs of getting stronger or fitter. From a distance, it is still the sometime ok, sometimes get work done, other times bad erratic cycle.
But for me, there was a little bit of progress – all wasted away with a few days of non-activity.
Elevated pain, less mobility, constant spasms and headaches, so draining, yet it’s the path ahead that is daunting.
It probably didn’t help to spend time with the kids this morning as they do their typical chin up sets. Overweight, unfit & in pain, I could manage very few. Too many will lead to complications & more pain, too few and the pain will remain the same and there will be no progress.
Gone are the days of trying to beat them or keep up.
So to are my days of being the type of man I wanted to be.
Or the days of being capable even of thriving daily.
Or being giving my wife what she needs / deserves.
Or being a proactive father, finishing this house, growing those veggies, fixing the car
Let alone be able able to fulfil the ministry I long to or the long list of things I’d *love* to start…
But letting go of all those preconceived ideals and desires is a first vital step in not getting buried in this mini valley, of being able to move forward, no matter how slow that is or how different it is.
All I can do is allow the Truth I now logically to penetrate my heart – that my identity is as a Son of God, that the loving Father has only love for me and will cause all things (even those that seem unfair or soul destroying) for my good.
Can I accept that?
Can I relax in His care?
Can I receive & revel in His love?
Can I release control?
Can I avoid (or release) resentment?
Can I walk with Him?
Can I reflect His love & grace with others?
Simple answer – no! Without His Spirit, not a chance!
But, for 23 years, He has worked on me, changed me & forgiven me.
#thankYouJesus #undeserved #valleys
What joy for those whose strength comes from the LORD,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to ZION.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in ZION.
O LORD God of Heaven’s Armies, hear my prayer.
Listen, O God of Jacob.
Psalms 84:5-8 (NLT)