A few key events that have shaped my Fathers Day….
BIOLOGY
The last thing I heard my own father say to me was: “I never wanted children Adam, I still don’t, please don’t contact me again.” He had left after finding out my mum was pregnant with me – I grew up in a cloud of rejection and lack of identity. I met him when I was around 20 years of age while still an alcoholic (he was too), then saw him again a year or two later as a Christian and invited him to my upcoming wedding. I honoured his wish, and never spoke to him again. As far as I know he has passed away now.
ADOPTION
My step dad took me on when I was around 12. Neither of us knew how much rebellion against authority was about to explode. I had thought having a dad would help & be fun, instead I reared up against what I saw as another rule maker in my life. Despite this, he loved me, provided good schooling which helped keep some of my anger / addictive behaviours at bay for a couple of key years. He modelled something very opposite from my biological father.
SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
After rebelling against any authority and pursuing any desire to its’ full, I found myself disillusioned, depressed, in physical, mental and emotional torment. Suicidal, on a trip to end my life I finally relented and submitted to literally hundreds of ‘hints and coincidences’: I read the Bible to see if God was actually there and if ‘He’ was different to what I thought (based on my interpretation of religious people who I saw as abusive).
The changes were intense and instant in so many areas, but the underlying key concept:
The Father of All, the very Creator, had a personal love of & for…*me*! ???
He knew all the evil I would do & all the precious people of His I would hurt, yet sent His Son to die for me anyway!
I experienced love, genuine love, for the first time…
It broke me.
I wept in contrition over my sin and joy over my pardon for what seemed like hours.
I was awakened 24 years ago TO THIS DAY… wow.
Hatred & anger & revenge dissipated. Forgiveness to others was possible. The dark, evil within that seems to control so much of my life was no longer a lion, but a mouse. I started to care, genuinely care for people other than myself(!).
FAMILY
With a new-found appreciation and perspective on life, I decided to do what this loving Father said I should do:
Tell others about Jesus, love and lay down my life for the woman God would give and be proactive in discipling my children. I have now worked at that for 20 years…
Even though the most consistent thing by far has been my mistakes, I can honestly say that if you follow Jesus, put Him first, your wife second, your children third and everything else (work / money / church / ministry / sport / volunteering / friends) after that, God will be faithful.
It may not be easy, there will be trials, you will be wronged, you will have hurts, you will make mistakes, people will reject you, but through it all you will have His peace and assurance.
No matter how bad you have messed up, keep on rocking up, keep on building trust, keep on providing, keep on working at being there. You could be the only image of God they ever know. You may be the only person able to display His love & input identity into them. You may never know the full impact you have, but they will. It is a high calling…
“His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers”
Luke 1:17 (NLT)
RESPONSE
So many ups & downs, so many valleys, so much pain, so many hurts yet throughout it all I have experienced:
THE STEADFAST LOVE OF THE LORD NEVER FAILS
HIS MERCIES NEVER COME TO AN END
THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING
GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS!
Great is Your faithfulness Lord, your provision and protection amaze me. Your power and wisdom humble me. Your love, o Your love, it still breaks me. How could a God like You, love a wretch like me?? ThankYou! Help me turn to you constantly and fully instead of running away.
Your love is better than life. I am nothing without You.
#thankYouJesus
