So here I am singing in a church I rarely attend, singing out of tune and at times singing the wrong words.
Some words I don’t remember, others I disagree with and my pet hate – singing about God (He, Him) when we can sing to Him (You). ‘Our God He reigns forever’ – I sing as ‘my God, You reign forever’ etc.
I am aware to a certain degree of my surroundings, my wife, my children, people in rows behind us – but………
my thoughts, imagination and focus is on the God I owe everything to. I get lost to a degree – refusing to let other people or my own thoughts take away from what I am here for…worship.
In my mind, I am aware of a throne. It is an incredible throne – in the centre of an unlimited, boundless court. The court is lined with gold, it’s smoky – but not a camp fire burning type of smoke. There are choirs singing spine tingling melodies and powerful songs, distinguished people (elders) who are both standing attentive and also bowed low at the same time. There are mighty and perfect angels flying around the throne – who fall down and shout and sing holy holy holy. There is a lot of action – but none of it is the focus.
“I am so sinful – what am I doing here?”
A few thoughts dominate my mind:
- ‘I am so so sinful, I have so many many failures, I continually do the wrong thing’ Specific things come to mind.
- ‘This King can and should destroy anything that is not perfect and holy’
- ‘I should not be here – I am close to death’.
- ‘It is amazing that I can be here because of Jesus’
This last thought is captivating. The power of what Jesus did on the cross – Him paying completely for my sin, so that i can be in God’s presence without death – it’s incredible.
I am aware that Jesus is in the ‘room’ – and it is incredible to be in the same room without being punished or killed. Although amazing to be on the outskirts of this Heavenly throne room, it is nothing compared to what happens next.
While I would not dare to look directly at the One on the throne, I sense Him standing up – garnering the attention of everyone present. He ‘walks’ over to me in my cowered state and picks me up. He returns and sits with me in His lap simply cuddling and cradling me.
I have done this for all of my children at different times – but never had it myself, in the physical. It is among the most powerful of my human existence – not high speed chases, not adrenaline filled activities, not copious amounts of alcohol, drugs or money, but being intimately loved and unconditionally accepted by a Father.
And this is not any father…this is the Heavenly Father – the Creator of the universe! Totally perfect and Holy, and here He is, holding me. It is a very humbling experience and it seems very unjust. In His arms I feel safe and accepted – and all of this reflects on Him and what He accomplished through the cross. This is Daddy…
He has not done this, He does not love me, He does not accept me, because of anything I have done, not done or who I am. In fact quite the opposite – in this moment I can see clearly the many, many reasons why He should not allow me to live, let alone be in His presence. But His very nature, essence and desire is love and is for forgiveness. He is love. And He loves to forgive!
This incredible God, the just Judge of the world, the One who knows my every fault, failure and sin, the One who reigns, is cuddling me!
🎶 “You reign forever… My Hope, my strong Deliverer… You are the ever-living God, the ever-living God, You will not feint , You won’t grow weary…” 🎶
The words are coming from my heart, the tears from my eyes and the (out of tune) words from my mouth. My arms are stretched out, embracing the One who gave me life…my Daddy.
This is where I belong!
For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
Romans 8:29-30
Conclusion: He is incredible. He is powerful. He is holy, He is the just Judge of the world, He is a consuming fire, He is loving, He is forgiving. He is Daddy!
PRAYER: Lord, may we always be aware of what You have achieved for us and why. May we respond to Your immense love and turn to You and away from the things that detract from Your plan for us.