I remember, many years ago, being in a house full of people tripping (on drugs, acid specifically).
Things were getting *very* weird – furniture and fittings were getting damaged, people were falling in the pool as they thought they could walk on water and lots of screaming.
Not really my type of ‘buzz’ so I headed out the front of the house. There was a pretty decent thunderstorm. I don’t know if it was a conversation inside about someone thinking they were Jesus but I remember thinking I wonder if there is a God.
I had what is a common thought and question “ok God if you are there show me”. I finished that sentence by saying “with a big lightning strike”. As if the first part wasn’t arrogant or taunting enough…
I was under that car port of a two story house for only a few seconds before the loudest thunder clap I have ever heard hit right overhead. It wasn’t the ‘snap’ of a strike that is very close but the biggest earth shaking rumble I have ever experienced. It scared me. Quite a lot.
I went inside – quickly! I don’t recall anything else of that evening, but what I do know is that I was adamant there was no God. This experience, and many many more, didn’t convince me of anything other than ‘that co-incidences do occur’.
Some of these co-incidences, likely around 50, happened to me in the year 2000. Some were big – in fact even when I look back at them now they still seem impossible. Some were terrible.
But, while on a trip to end my life, they became so big and condensed, that even me, totally devoted to being in control and having a ‘scientific’ answer to everything was having trouble.
Due to knowing I would be ending my life soon – I thought it was a good idea to ‘see’ if God existed. I can’t understate the many lows and breaking I had go through to get to this point. Seriously the amount of new lows was soul crushing.
At some of these low points while on my trip I started reading the Bible and talking to God as if He existed, though still firmly believed He didn’t.
I remember ‘praying’ as I thought my coaster bus with no clutch and everything I owned was about to get stuck in a river crossing. I knew it would get stuck – as someone who know vehicles and driving in strange situations, it was impossible for it to make it through.
The banks going down and up on their own were too steep. The mud in the water would be too slippery. The angle between up & down did not leave enough room for the clearance of the roo bar and the illegal rear rack that held the quad off the back. If that wasn’t enough the large boulders embedded into the bed at the bottom were far too big – a cruiser or hilux would struggle – and here I was in a coaster bus totally overloaded and now with no clutch…
But I had no choice. I was stuck. I couldn’t go back down the track. In fact I could only go forward as I was already heading down this 50m embankment and it was too steep to start in reverse. After an hour of trying to figure something else out I resigned to the fact I would be stuck in the middle of nowhere on a seldom used track. In flood season, 100+ kms out of Newman.
‘God can you help’
I put the bus in first gear, and lurched forward as the motor started. I was just bracing for the impact at the bottom. It was futile – and dumb – but I had no choice.
The bewilderment is still amazing – 19 years later. It is like the bus was literally carried over the bottom apex of the river bed. I wasn’t even bumpy and the bus made it up the other side without trying.
It was surreal. I remember stopping at the top of the hill and walking back down just to check. I took photos. I just couldn’t believe it.
As I write this – it reminds me of a couple of times on motorbikes. While blind drunk, on two occasions I got launched into the air. Once was over the hump of an intersection I had forgotten about while trying to beat the red light. The person on the back was claiming to be a lover of speed and wheelies on motorbike so I had deliberately set off to show him he didn’t know what he was talking about.
But, when I finally remembered about the hump I was likely doing 150-200. It was too late. This was it we were dead. We launched into the air and I think we likely would have cleared 3 car lengths. I knew it would be bad when we landed – real bad. In fact I expected that if I ever woke up it would be in a hospital…
But, this old beat up bike landed like we had just gone over a cats eye. We didn’t hit the curb, nor the light posts nor the traffic lights. It was silky smooth. In that moment I just though ‘I’m awesome’ and went ever harder. Needless to say Stuart (I think that was his name) was petrified and shaking so bad when we got to the petrol station he couldn’t walk.
The other time was similar – a friend on a stolen bike was riding behind me and I had turned around to watch him. I drifted off course and hit a curb doing at least 80 (maybe up to 120 just don’t know). The bike launched into the air and again somehow landed smooth, soft, no wobbles or recoil. Different bike – even worse than the other.
When I look back both these times felt the exact same as the bus gliding over the rocks & river bed. Was the bus literally carried?
Many, many things happened directly after praying:
-When the bus was firmly bogged and I had given up in another part of the river I prayed and someone appeared out of nowhere in a 4wd and helped me for hours. This track was more well used but still quite obscure 100 kms out of Newman.
– The pain in my back stopped. Completely. After years of drug & alcohol use to lessen the pain, after an epidural and doctors saying this would never stop. One night at the edge of a cliff where I was to jump I cried out and said ‘God I don’t want you to heal me – I NEED you to…or I’m jumping”. And the pain stopped. It took a few months before I felt *any pain* in my back.
If you have been a chronic pain sufferer or you know some of the other crazy stuff, you will know that the fact that I still didn’t believe in God means I was pretty determined
There was one experience that I couldn’t argue with – a pivotal moment – but I won’t go in to that now. A week after the bus getting bogged and the pain stopping another 20 ‘co-incidences’ led me to a place where I actually thought that ‘God designed this just for me’.
I walked into a community hall in Newman. I now knew there was a God and had experienced Him. But church? The lady at the door looked very surprised to get any visitors, and looked petrified of me. No I wasn’t here to rob the place. Looking back I likely looked pretty bad.
But this community hall was large, there were only about 20 chairs at one end. Felt empty. There was 2-4 adults and 2-3 children. I sat at the back. Still empty.
They played some music on the little tape player at the front. Ha! Quiet, distorted, tinny. But hang on I can FEEL. I felt weird. I felt emotional! Sad and happy together. Just like in the bush when God showed me what sin was and who Jesus was.
When He opened my eyes – I knew this was real. To weep for hours over sin that a few moments before thought was fine? Now THAT is miraculous.
And here, with this music playing “Father to the Fatherless” I felt a similar emotion. I looked around and knew God had designed this for me and the best was yet to come.
In part of my early years I was raised in a community that I classed as a cult. I had always thought that the control and group had been what gave people the experience. I hated cults and Christians because of it. I knew the techniques well and even used some of them for my own ‘empowerment’.
But here – this was deliberately set up to be the opposite of that. Did God want me to come here to show me He is real and He doesn’t need groups or loud music?
Then a lady started to speak about her past drug life and how God was a Father to the fatherless. It was exciting and made sense. I wanted to be here. In church?! And wow did God want me here today to hear that He was a father to the fatherless?
It turned out that day was actually Fathers Day too – Fathers Day in the year 200 in a place called Newman. For a week I really had been a new man. But the work started a long time before that. God was changing me more and more rapidly. All my own effort to try to be a better person, to be successful, to deal with pain, heal my life or beat depression meant absolutely nothing.
The pastors of this church gave me a job, somewhere to park my bus and fed me Bible study after Bible study (thanks Arthur & Sharon!). I invaded their lives for months – after taking the kids out on the quad & one of them breaking their arm I felt bad so I stayed. I started praying over the town with them early in the morning. I tried to mc the Christian radio show they had running (didn’t work lol), I started a youth group at the church, joined the Christmas choir and sometimes gave a speech at church.
Back to today – well specifically yesterday – 19 years later.
We had decided to get some seed potatoes and supplies for people in the area. It seems like a good idea at the time – and one trip would cover most things so we thought.
It got much bigger than planned, with many orders and a diverse range of items needed. There was a lot of back and forth due to the current lack of availability of certain growing produce – it was difficult.
Then when I set off yesterday I was told one of the suppliers had sold the pallets of goods we ordered. This would mean a seperate trip. Anyway I set off with my daughter who was excited to be able to go through the police / military road block where we have to have paperwork to say we have legal business in the Metro area.
A lot of the day was fairly uneventful – but a couple of things stood out. My son messaged to say we had run out of a product for building (we are in the middle of trying to prepare for a concrete pour). We sell this product and the supplier was close to where I was picking up other goods. The problem was I had already left & that was now an hour away.
I was close to a hardware store, so headed there. But there was a queue that looked like it would take at least an hour to get in. Then I remember that, due to a few ‘co-incidences’ we had a powerless card. We could drive in to the trade area! No queue, no waiting! After being in the car for 4 hours this was amazing!
Next, I had to go to a Woolworths for a few supplies. As it was date night I thought I would have a look for a nice piece of fish for my wife. I got to the counter and ordered a piece of salmon. I noticed that the Barramundi was on special. Maybe I could have something nice too?!
I asked the lady – is that a good price for Barramundi? – $24 a kilo. She said yes, but that it was also 50% off pointing to a little sign I hadn’t noticed. What 50% off? My favourite fish? Needless to say I bought enough for the whole family.
Wow! This was one of those ‘hey Adam I love you -God’ things. ThankYou!
Next, I had to travel to pick up some plates and bowls. We have slowly bought secondhand matching plates & cutlery for when we have visitors. We often have 20-80 people eating at once when we run an ‘event’. Second-hand every so often we can buy matching square ones.
Well this set was only $30 and the lady had been so patient with my many cancelled trips yet had still held on to them for us.
Her husband opened the door and gave me the first stack of plates. I gave him the cash and headed to the car, then came back for more. The third trip the lady was there giving me the bowls. I apologised to her for all the mess around and cancelled trips.
“That’s fine Adam – and I wanted to pay these forward so here’s your money”
What? No – that’s fine, surely not? She would’t take no for an answer.
Amazing – it is the little things!
She shared how the plates were too heavy for her as she has recently been diagnosed with MS.
I would ask everyone who reads this – please pray for Lorraine. You might not be going through a bad enough situation to reach out to ‘god’ for yourself, but please pray for her. Right now!
She is still trying her best to provide for her family and is responding not with bitterness but kindness. To total strangers!
This morning I am reminded and I hope you are too – that it is the little things that God does that really speak to us. The things that only He knows about. The things that would likely mean nothing to someone else, mean the world to us.
What has God done for you? His love, care and individual attention are often seen in the little things…
Lord, thankYou for all the times you have done ‘little’ things for us to try to capture our attention. Those things that show tiny glimpses of Your great love for us. Please open our eyes to the many ways You show us love, especially what you did for us on the cross. And may we be part of doing those ‘little’ things for others. The things we know they need. The things we know they care about.
#thankYouJesus