Not another Stolen Generation?
Today I met the second person who identified themselves as part of the ‘stolen generation’ after talking to them about Jesus & drug addiction…
Today, we took a trip to purchase a caravan to restore, either for use or sale. We aimed to be there by 11am, then 1pm but didn’t arrive until 3pm due to some unforeseen issues…
First off I woke up late – very late – in the middle of flu-like sickness. Second, we had various things to attend to for people picking up parcels and certain business things. We had to wait for the Little N to get up – and just as he did I remembered that our new bus had no indicators.
Long story short, we left hours late – we first had to get a permit from the council to help the commodore get re-licensed and head off to look at the caravan.
Upon arrival, we found the lady friendly and arranged to buy the caravan very quickly. We talked and she started offering to show us some pet sheep she wanted us to have. After hand feeding them and trying to be-friend the Alpacas, she offered for the kids to pick some oranges.
If you’ve met our children you will know that they are pretty committed and treat each task as a challenge – buckets were filled very quickly. About 5 of them…but time was ticking on. Conversation was friendly, though as very regularly happens she commented on the kids.
We get this a lot – whether it is their good behaviour, their knowledge and interest in building or growing or whatever – there are often comments. “You’re children are amazing….”
Our response is always some variant of – “yes it is all because of God, it is His grace & love” This normally leads to a conversation about what we were like before Jesus changed our lives. This time as I talked about what I used to be like, this lady informed me Sharmini had already shared part of her life story…
As we had both shared about the dramatic changes, she shared about people in her family who had addictions and finally revealed she had been removed from her family at a young age. This is the second time I have met a person who was removed from their family by the government in what is known as the ‘Stolen Generation’.
Like the last lady we met and had lunch with, she didn’t have anger or revenge, but they have copious amounts of grief and pain. They both didn’t want to share right away, though as they felt safe and saw our genuine hearts, they both opened up to a certain degree.
Although this lady was far more closed and had tried to cope by burying the pain and avoiding talking about things – there were obvious lingering issues and pain. But one consolation – she had not turned to drugs!
The last person I met had broken down in tears as we opened our ‘home’ (read caravan shanty town!) with them for a meal. We were genuinely interested in their stories, and deeply moved by their pain. They were very gracious and received our prayers and gifts with affection.
Although today was very different and this lady had a ‘great life’ and relative wealth, she was very lonely and sad that she rarely saw her husband and her grand children. But the very core of who she presented herself as, was pain. She was quick to state that the past was the past and that she had moved on, but her eyes told a different story.
As with many who believe they have left the past behind, the past is normally evident to everyone around them. It controls them and affects everything they do, their choices actions and reactions. It is hard for those around them – and painful to watch for those who understand or have gone through similar.
I for one understand emotional pain and this decision to try to leave it all behind. More than the first half of my life was marked by this seemingly (to me at least) successful technique.
But the bad decisions and health issues that I still have to deal with from this technique is incredible. It does not work and the pain only gets worse over time. Many people have breakdowns as they literally can not bare the pressure to keep everything suppressed.
And we feel their pain. Call it compassion, call it being triggered, call it weird – call it what you want – we can understand the pain that people are in. It is a terrible thing to have abuse, trauma or miss out on one or more of your parents. This is true physically if a parent is killed, goes away to work continually or is emotionally distant – the resulting pain is the same.
And today it got me thinking of the way that people do not seem to care about more of these horrible stories – more people going through lives of pain. More children having a parent removed – another Stolen Generation.
And – amazingly – many Christians seem quite content to sit back and let it happen. In fact some are advocating for the change that will result in thousands of children missing a father or a mother. The effect, of course, is more detrimental than that – but it is key.
A persons identity is a huge deal. A person lacking identity, for whatever reason, is a very sad thing. Identity, a healthy one that is, is the foundation of a persons life, work and happiness – a warped one is the cause of continual grief and double mindedness.
Who am I? Why am I like this? How can I change? Why am I sad? What is missing? Why me?
These are normal responses from those who have identity issues. Now, as bad as it is, the solution is a lot easier to see for someone with a clear trauma or lack. ie a person who’s father was killed, will likely spot a reason for their grief.
But what about the person who grows up being told by their parents that everything is normal and healthy around them – and culture says the same…when it is not? They will make the only logical conclusion: “there is something wrong with them”
I have sat through many, many prayer ministry sessions while people access, relive and deal with the huge amount of pain caused by these types of beliefs. It is gut-wrenching, really it is. I would not wish it on my worst enemy and I could not sit by and be part of the culture that is trying to allow this to happen.
Having two mothers or two fathers is not a normal or healthy family. The result will be the pain and trauma of many, many children. The warped identity (or lack of one altogether) in these children is disturbing to me and I hope that others start to see this.
While divorce is legal, the effect on children is huge and known – and the resulting trauma is expected – but what of the child who grows up with a ‘married’ couple who have decided to follow a homosexual lifestyle? I hope that people who care will not only stand up now to avoid this horrible situation spiralling out of control, but will also have the love, grace and answers to embrace these people later on with more depth than ‘Jesus loves you’.
The first question will be “why did He allow this to happen to me then” – how will you answer that…if you have stood by and allowed it to happen?
I will be voting no to the re-definition of marriage, for the sake of the children and our culture at large. Not because I am a bigot – not because I am homophobic – not because I am judgemental.
I respect every persons right to choose their own lifestyle, their own actions, their own religion – unless it affects others – especially the vulnerable or without voice.
If you class yourself as a homosexual – I don’t think any less of you. I don’t think that your sin is any worse than mine – I simply believe that re-defining marriage will result in much more pain for many – and will not actually change anything for you.
I am happy to sit & chat, be friends, discuss, argue, pray – hear your story and your pain and who knows I may be able to help. You may be able to help me understand further too, but please know this, homosexual or not – you and I need Jesus. He really is the only hope, the only answer the only healer.