How a Hernia Op is evidence of A Changed life
TRIGGER WARNING (drug use).
Some of you may know that, just to add insult to injury, I have been struggling with the addd complication of a hernia the last few months. Typically, it was on the side that I have to use to stand up (due to back / SI joint issues), so it has been pretty painful and debilitating.
Thankfully, within a couple of weeks of the doctor diagnosing, I was in hospital getting the procedure done.
I was informed that the recovery would be painful due to where they cut through my stomach to fuse my vertebrae together.
Now, a few hours after the op, here I was in the bed in quite a bit of pain. Nurses and doctors were in and out – and I kept saying the same thing: ‘I’d rather be in pain than be any more nauseous’.
I was already feeling the effects of the pain relief they had given – and I hated it. Like really hated it.
That might sound like a normal reaction to you, but for me it is a full blown miracle.
You see, in my drug and alcohol years, pharmaceuticals were my absolute favourite. Sure I would still drink and smoke dope and all the rest of it – but my drug of choice was opioids.
I had a wide range including different Morphine derivatives (tablets and liquid) but my normal was too powerful for tablet form. It was a suppository and extremely potent.
It may sicken you to know that after having this drug, you could be nauseous to a point where it was hard to walk, almost comatose, even vomiting for hours, – but would feel happy, loving, stress free – it felt incredible for a few hours. I *loved* it.
But here, now, today – being offered pretty much anything to lessen the pain, I can honestly say that I *hate* the feeling of these drugs now.
Such a clear evidence of a changed life – not *just* someone who doesn’t like the come-down the next day or the consequences of long term use or the thought of being addicted – but not even liking the actual ‘high’ of the drug? That is miraculous.
I am truly grateful that Jesus has changed me – like really changed me. I still have heaps of faults and fail all the time, but fundamentally I am a different person.
Many will never understand that, despite my headstrong and dedicated demeanour, I was unable to quit drugs. And how I tried! But nothing I tried helped me stay clean for more than a week. I would just switch drug.
The consequences didn’t matter. The failed relationships meant nothing. The pain remained, the dose just increased, my mental state went down, my body suffered.
Now, I feel physically sick when I even think of what that life entailed and the activities I revelled in.
#purefilth #thankYouJesus
And thank you to those who prayed – back home now and doing a bit better