Over the last few years I have had a lot of ministry and
a lot of things have changed dramatically. A simple one that is easy to explain is below:
For as long as I could remember, when confined in very small spaces I would feel a very slight feeling in my stomach. It was fairly easy to ignore and I could always put on a brave face no matter the situation. There was a few times though that I started getting a bit panicky when I couldn't get out of a tight spot. Like one day while in a car rollover when a drunk friend lost control trying to do fishies, I tried to find the exit as fuel spilled everywhere - the panic was evident - but in most situations I could push down any feelings that came up. I could go in a lift / elevator and could pass the 'claustrophobic test' for scuba diving - I didn't think much of it.
One day in ministry, this feeling came up. I immediately went to a memory where I was locked in the gas bottle holder of a caravan while people threw bricks at it. The situation wasn't life threatening, nor terribly painful - but in that moment I
believed that I was going to die. I was panicking.
As Jesus came in to that memory (and another earlier one) & revealed His truth to me about the situation, the feeling of panic completely left. It was just a brief part of the session. Again I didn't think much of it.
A few weeks later, we had to clean out a water tank and I used a rope to get in. While in the bottom some of the kids pulled the rope out and shut the lid. I found it very interesting - I had complete
peace. They jumped on the roof and hit the tank...I tried to feel panicked, anxious, that feeling in my stomach - but it had
completely gone. I have never had this feeling since.
This is a very 'light' example of things that have happened for me through this ministry and as you read through I will share some more deep / vulnerable ones :)
- Adam Keegan