Two Blokes walk into church
Two Blokes Walk into Church
One walks to the front, sits down....
Modern day Bible parables…
Scripture(s): Luke 18:10-14
Description:
Today for Jesus time I talked of two men, Timothy & Phillip.
Tim was quite rich, looked nice, was polite & kind & helped people all the time. He was a ‘good christian’. He went to church & was very thankful for what God had done & who he was.
The other guy Philip, was rough & rude - and sometimes stole things. He went to church only occasionally & didn’t talk to anyone.
I talked of the way they prayed and then asked the younger children which one was God happy with…Interesting responses and a good way for the children to interact with heart of the Gospel.
I then asked the older kids what I had been doing - they knew the parable so we read it together:
* Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else:10 * “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. 11 * The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer:‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! 12 * I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income. ’
13 * “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be k merciful to me, for I am a sinner. ’ 14 * I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted
(Luke 18:9-14 NLTSB)
It's a great idea to put parables in your own words, your own names and ‘embellishments’ but be sure to keep true to the Word. I personally always use the actual scriptures afterwards and elevate what they say, so the children get used to the authority of the Bible.
It is easy to throw in our own bits in (as the ‘poem’ below shows) which can be dangerous for anyone - especially children. Children interpret things and idea continually and I have heard from many. many children who grew up in ‘christian’ homes that they never heard the gospel. Now obviously there is an element of spiritual significance here (namely that even if the gospel is preached 100 times a day they may never ‘hear it’ unless God reveals it), however it is vital that we preach / teach / model the correct thing.
Jesus is clear about what He is addressing in this parable and it’s setting:
Just before the parable we get the context:
* Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else
(Luke 18:9 NLTSB)
This is not something that was preached randomly, but to those who ‘had great confidence in their own righteousness’ and ‘scorned everyone else’.
For your characters this is what needs to be emphasised. It doesn’t matter about the clothes, the actions during the week, the persons professions (though this helps convey the message) the heart attitudes of the hearers is what is being addressed.
And again the heart of the people as they pray in the Bible is clear:
One lists his own ‘good deeds’ and declares his thanks for how sin-free he is. His opinion (blinded) is that he is sin-free comes from the fact he compares himself to others not to the Holy-ness of God.
The tax-collector however has no thought or mention of others - just an acute awareness of his own position before God and begs for mercy. The guilty conscience - a vital step before forgiveness! 
I attempted a poem along this theme - and it shows my cultural ‘impressions’ with the position in church, times etc. My unrehearsed rendition to the kids mentioned clothing too…
Two blokes walked into church. One greeted people confidently and walked to the front row. It had been a great week and he had a lot to be thankful for.
“Thank you Lord, for my job, the things that went so well
and the success that tasted so swell.
It was clear that you had a hand in it all,
I am so thankful that I didn’t sin or have a fall.
It is so good to be me, I only pray that others could be too -
the world would be a better place
if they only walked like me they wouldn’t feel such disgrace.”
The other guy was polite, but behind the sheepish smile
were things not so nice and he had known for quite a while.
He may have seemed quite rude to those around,
when they smiled at him he stared right at the ground.
His prayer was quite different, for his week was actually quite bleak.
“I’m sorry Lord for my many failures - before you I just wreak.
If only I could make it just one day
and do the things that you say.
Please forgive me, though I don’t deserve,
You’re so Holy and I am just far too weak.”
At the end of the service they both went on their way,
those with their hearts in tune, could hear what the Lord did say:
“Thank you oh thank you for the time you’ve taken,
but now it’s time to stop giving yourself a rakin’
because you're no longer God-for-saken.
Your confession of sin and humble heart
are what I desire from the start.
Your prayers to me are like sweet incense
and for any Christian, surely common sense.
I love your desire to be like me
and walk less stained, even sin-free.
I know with you that my love is not wasted
and your smile, when it comes, is not pasted.
Go from here completely forgiven,
all because my Son was given.
Continue to get up and walk,
with me of course you can always talk.
Cleansed by my Son’s precious blood,
picked up from the dirty, sticky mud.
Please challenge, but don’t be blunt,
and share my love with that boy, up the front.“
Conclusion: He desires and rewards the humble heart. Forgiveness is for the humble.
PRAYER: Lord, please help me to stay humble. No matter how often we fall or how ‘far’ we come - let us always keep our eyes fixed on your and your perfection. Continue to convict us of our sin and wretchedness. We are nothing and you are everything - thank you for your love and grace. Amen.