My Brother in Law - Naveen

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He did back down though - out of love for his sister he put aside what he wanted &what he thought was justified. Either that or maybe he just recognised I was the best one for Sharmini... Either way we both started to tolerate each other and he was civil…mostly

We saw each other on semi regular occasions and started to accept each other - not just because of Sharmini - but for each other as humans.

I remember wanting to impress him early on. We had paid for him to go sky-diving and on the way back I thought I’d show off. I took a little gravel track and gave the Torana everything it had. Fishies, dips and a little air - it was fantastic! Then rounding a huge tree with a handbrake turn & huge slide I glanced back expecting to see his excitement or at the very least his approval…I was met with him slumped over, completely passed out face down in the back seat!

When he needed to stay with us for a little while we really started to understand each other and the trust grew. Open-ness, respect and helpfulness became mutual, though it was impossible to out-give Naveen!

Nothing was ever too much or too hard, to a point where I didn’t even want to ask. He'd see a need & fill it...then act as if you were weird for saying thanks. We were on a endless mission "how can we bless / pay back uncle Naveen?”

He was always up for a challenge - no matter how inappropriate…from tug of wars in the sand to one time, while waiting to go into a Chinese restaurant for a family meal he started a wrestle with the kids in a busy car park. All in their nicest clothes & clean hands, people everywhere - he didn’t care. I will never forget the look of sheer joy and disbelief as he looked up from pavement after they put him down! Priceless!

This last year our parting hand shakes became hugs and the hugs were becoming more and more real and embracing - he really meant it, not just a chest bump type hug. He was becoming the brother I never had.

If you knew Naveen - you’ll know how opinionated he was - at times about things he had only just heard about...and sometimes even things he hadn't. It didn't matter - he was just as passionate and always as captivating.

In many areas it was best to just listen, then try your point again later. Or if it didn't matter - let it go! But in one area Sharmini & I were just as opinionated and held our ground…the spiritual. And here we saw the same pattern with Naveen.

Indifference, opposition, tolerance, acceptance, and slowly we saw more & more involvement & openness to the things we said & what he experienced. When he came to work, (where we have prayers before starting), at first he would be at the car or walking off, conveniently forgetting his gloves - but each time he got closer & closer, more involved, finally joining the circle - & then one day startling us all when he uttered his first ‘amen’. The amens go louder & became normal - of course this could have just been due to our unsafe work practises…but conversations we had later indicated otherwise.

Some of the bargains he got on Gumtree were incredible...some he left behind as he didn't know what they were for, and we still don't. He will be missed by Gumtree-ers everywhere including management who are wondering why sales in tools are down by 30%.

When he came to work, he’d spend hours rigging up these newly acquired Gumtree treasures to make a 10 minute job easier…then he’d work at 120% drowning everyone in sweat. No matter the heat he never wore a hat, we think the way he stayed cool was from his pointing tongue - contagiously always at full stretch. He had a tool or gadget for every occasion - but if he didn't today, next week he would!

His vision & drive were amazing while working - of course you’d have to make sure you were clear about WHERE the wall should be coz he would build so fast that those type of details were considered minor. Just as amazing was his ‘we can fix it later’ mentality - a hammer, welder or tap & die set could fix nearly any issue on the building site. The bobcat was used to ‘rectify’ any other issues.

When he came to visit he was incredible. When he wasn’t arguing with the kids about daylight saving or other such important topics that he knew best about - he would be playing, wrestling, hugging, explaining & teaching - and always caring. He cared for our safety & couldn’t get his head around us working in thongs…we got the regular “insane, crazy and mad’ remarks. Of course in the next sentence he would be teaching our kids about things like the milk crate challenge… This was quickly followed by his theories as to why he couldn’t beat them, arguing he was too short to go higher…ignoring their arguments that they were shorter and went higher on their first attempt! His smile & laugh-off were signature at times like this.

Though we never asked, while on the work site he even tried not to swear for the kids…which as you can imagine for someone who talked at 500 words a minute with 80% f’s & c’s this proved pretty amusing at times! He had the heart of a father and always wanted to connect. They loved him - we all did and we’ll miss more than words will ever express.

There’s so many things we as a family hoped & prayed for Naveen - from things like seeing our house completed that he had helped with, to freedom from things that haunted him at times or even seeing him with a family of his own. But the biggest was for his soul and many conversations revolved around this.

The day after his passing as we wept and tried to cope, God reminded me of a moment in history I had read dozens of times - but that morning on Sun 28th Feb - it seemed to have been recorded just for me and my family to help us cope - hopefully it helps you too.

When Jesus was hanging, dying on the cross - two criminals hung dying on either side of him. One mocked Jesus, the other realised his predicament - impending death & his own sins. He simply acknowledged this and his need for Jesus. “Jesus, remember me when you enter Your kingdom”.

Jesus said something shocking to that man: “today you will be with me in paradise”.

Our last in depth interaction with Naveen was about these very things…we talked for hours about God, Jesus, sin and his own state. He listened and had questions - quite unlike many of our other discussions on this topic.

In Naveen’s tragic last few moments I can only hope & believe that he used the amazing brain & intellect God had given him to turn to the Saviour. If He did He is in paradise, while we are left to let him go, deal with our regrets, remember him and learn from his amazing, yet short life.

Our lives have been forever changed, first for the better from knowing him - and now in the most gut-wrenching and hard-to-move-on way of living without him. Never to argue again, never to get his advice, never to see what bargain he had found, never to get a hug, never to see his tongue or discuss anything, never just to see him again.

It’s been incredibly hard and we guess it will be for quite some time but we are thankful that he had such great friends who obviously loved him for who he was. We love hearing the stories and snippets of different parts of what his life held and the huge character he was.

Based on our relationship & what we knew of him - we think he would want us to say:
Cherish life, Get help, Give Love & Trust Jesus.

We love you Nav.

Tags: love, eulogy, death